Mandarin Chinese Meetup: Let’s Play Go Fish!

If you are an adult living in the Blacksburg, Virginia, U.S.A. area, are studying Mandarin Chinese, or are a native speaker interested in offering support, you are invited to attend this gathering.

Red envelope prizes!

What? Mandarin Chinese Meetup: Let’s Play Go Fish, a popular American card game. (Here are the rules.)
Why? To engage in an activity where we speak only Mandarin Chinese in order to foster speaking the language on a meaningful level. For our purposes, “meaningful” is defined as “the ability to speak, listen, write, think, feel, work, present, relate, collaborate, and connect in Mandarin Chinese.”
Why else?To win prizes! The winner of each round will receive a 紅包 hóng bāo red envelope with a gift card inside.
How? For an hour, we enter the Chinese-speaking world and live Mandarin Chinese!
Where? Lobby of 102 Hubbard Street, Blacksburg, Virginia
When? Friday, March 23, 2023, April 7, 2023, 5:15 – 6:15 PM EDT
Cost? None. Attending the meetup is free.
For whom? Adults who are learning Mandarin Chinese and native speakers of Mandarin Chinese. Learners who know a minimum of 200 words can help keep the conversation flowing. Please note: This event is for adults only. Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children.
How do I sign up? Walk-ins are welcome.
How can I track my progress? You are invited to take the HSKlevel before you attend each meetup. You can take the assessment at any time and track your progress over time.
Questions? Please contact Anne Giles.

Participants are asked to make this pledge:

“To optimize the learning of all, I agree to willingly use Mandarin Chinese only for the entirety of the meeting. I understand that interjecting English into the conversation may interfere with the learning of others. I understand that, if I use English once, I will be expected to correct myself immediately. If I persist, I will have broken my agreement.”

(For other examples of language speaking agreements, please see the language pledges from Middlebury College, Princeton, Georgetown and Auburn. Brandeis’s All Language Lunch requires a language pledge. Here is a 2010 presentation on language pledges.)

To prepare for the meetup on Friday, April 7, 2023:

1. Please read these rules in English on how to play Go Fish. A translation of that page in Simplified Characters by italki instructor Frank is provided below.

2. Learn or review the pronunciation of the numbers from 2 to 10 in Mandarin Chinese, plus these words for the names of cards:

尖 jiān ace
K pronounced “K”
圈 quān queen
勾 gōu jack

3. Learn or review the pronunciation of these Go Fish terms.

给我你的_____.
Gěi wǒ nǐ de_____.
Give me your (name of the card).
Example: 给我你的K。
Gěi wǒ nǐ de K.
Give me your kings.

去钓鱼!
Qù diàoyú!
Go fish!

炸弹 zhàdàn
four-of-a-kind; a book of cards

In English, four-of-a-kind is called a “book” of cards. In Chinese, four-of-a-kind is called a “bomb” or “boom,” for example, 4 kings, 4 aces, and so on. Therefore, when playing Go Fish (Qù diàoyú 去钓鱼), four-of-a-kind is termed “炸弹 zhàdàn.” When playing Dòu dìzhǔ 斗地主, four-of-a-kind is also termed “炸弹 zhàdàn.”*

用英语,“book”就是任何4张一样的牌。用中文,”炸弹”就是任何四张一样的牌,比如 4张王,4张A等等。所以,玩去钓鱼的时候,”炸弹”是四张一样的牌。玩斗地主的时候,四张一样的牌也叫“炸弹”。*

4. Imagine yourself playing Go Fish, anticipate words and sentences you might need, look them up, and start practicing!

A tip sheet with other card-related words and terms will be provided at the meeting.

Card decks will also be provided.

What is the format of the meeting?

1. At the start of the meeting, instructions will be given in English.

2. We engage in Mandarin Chinese-only conversation activities in large and small groups.

3. We return to English. To close the meeting, participants are asked to take turns sharing what they observed about their own process and the insights they gained.

*If you are interested in playing, or learning to play, Dòu dìzhǔ 斗地主, and live in the Blacksburg, Virginia area, please contact me. Here is a Wikipedia description of Dòu dìzhǔ, here are the rules, here is a video with three players explaining Dòu dìzhǔ in English , and here is a video with the game explained by a Mandarin Chinese teacher.

Questions? Please contact Anne Giles.

. . . . .

This gathering is part of a larger effort to create synergy and community among local Mandarin Chinese learners and speakers. In particular, this is an attempt to find or create daily, in-person opportunities for adults learning Mandarin Chinese in the Blacksburg, Virginia area to practice speaking, listening, and interacting on a meaningful level.

For more information and for background on the format of the meeting, please see this first post about our Mandarin Chinese Meetup.

. . . . .

Go Fish rules, translated by italki instructor Frank:

“去钓鱼” 是一个很有趣的扑克牌游戏,小孩也觉得有意思喜欢玩。

需要准备什么?
一副52 张的扑克牌。一些牌发出去以后,剩下的牌还要用。

副 measure word for poker card

怎么玩才可以赢?·
谁拿到的炸弹最多,谁就赢了。 炸弹就是四张一样的牌,比如4张 K、4张 A 等等。

怎么看牌的大小?
A是牌点最大的牌,然后是K、 Q、 J、10、 9、 8、 7、 6、 5、 4、 3、 2。
2 是 牌点最小的牌。

牌大小不用看牌的花色,只看牌号,比如两个 3、两个 10 等等。

怎么发牌?

让一个玩家给每个玩家发一张牌。 让大家看到牌号。
牌点最低的玩家是庄家。 庄家洗牌,庄家右边的玩家切牌。

然后,庄家顺时针给每个人一次发一张牌,牌面朝下,不能让其他人看到牌号。
庄家发牌的时候要从他左边的玩家开始。

如果两个或三个人玩,每个人拿七张牌。 如果四五个人玩,每个人拿五张牌。
庄家发完牌把剩下的牌面朝下放在桌子上。

怎么玩?

先从庄家左边的玩家开始,他就是钓鱼的人。他可以和任何一个人说,比如,“Tom, 把你的10给我”,一般是先叫那个人的名字,然后让他把牌交出来,从 A 到 2随便选一个牌号。 如果正在“钓鱼”的玩家想要10,那么他手里必须有一张牌是10。要不然,他不能问别人有没有10。

如果Tom有10,他必须交出他所有的10。
如果Tom没有10,他要说:“去钓鱼!。
和Tom要牌的玩家必须从桌子上剩下的牌里抽一张,然后放在他手里。
抽牌的时候,只能抽最上面的那一张牌。

如果钓鱼的人拿到了一张或者几张他想要的牌,他可以继续和Tom要牌,也可以和另一个人要牌。钓鱼的人可以继续要同一张牌或不同的牌。 只要钓鱼的人成功拿到牌,他就可以继续要。 钓鱼的人从别人手里拿牌的时候,牌号必须让大家看到。 如果钓鱼的人拿到四张一样的牌的最后一张, 他得让大家看到这四张牌的牌号,然后把这四张牌面朝上放在桌子上,然后再玩一次。

如果玩家去钓鱼的时候,一张牌都没有拿到,那就得从他左边的人开始下一轮。

13个炸弹(四张一样的牌)被赢完后,游戏就结束了。 谁的炸弹最多谁就赢了。

在玩这个游戏的时候,如果玩家手里没有牌了,他们可以在轮到他玩的时候从桌子上剩下的牌里抽牌。比如他抽到了5,然后再和别人要牌点是5的牌。

如果桌子上剩下的牌没有了,那他就出局了。

扑克的四种花色:
黑(hēi)桃(táo)♠ spade
红(hóng)桃(táo)♥heart
梅(méi)花(huā)♣club
方(fāng)块(kuài)♦diamond

All content on this page is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, professional, and/or legal advice. Consult a qualified professional for personalized medical, professional, and legal advice.

These Are the Yeses

I define “yeses” as the realities that create the context of my existence, stated as precisely as I can perceive them. I may wish – even long – for these realities to be different. I may have intense feelings about these realities. However, I acknowledge these realities as givens, neither powers nor perpetrators. I do not surrender to them or become a victim of them. I acknowledge them.

Ted and Ken

Note: This post is intended as a worksheet for people who are interested in increasing their emotion regulation skills. As a result of sorting the realities of one’s situation from beliefs or unproven hypotheses about one’s situation, a person can then shift the energy and creativity of their attention from what-ifs to realities.

Please complete all sections in a short amount of time, briefly, with straightforward answers, few details, little to no explanation, self-kindness, and compassion. I provide personal examples of answers.

Demographics and Geography

I am __________________. I am not different or other, not younger or older, not brighter or less bright, not better looking or worse looking, not more or less physically fit, not more or less educated, not more or less accomplished, and not wealthier or poorer. Although I or others may have wished for this, I am not __________________ or __________________.

I live in __________________, not in __________________.

Example

I am a Caucasian female, aged 64, a former teacher and a current counselor. Although I or others may have wished for this, I am not a holder of a Ph.D. or a famous contributor to great thinking.

I live in a small college town, in a rural area, with a small population, with a small number of people my age, and with a small number of businesses, restaurants, and organizations, not in a city with a large population, with a large number of people my age, and with a large number of businesses, restaurants, and organizations.

Upbringing

To gently paraphrase poet Philip Larkin, our parents and caregivers have both positive and negative impacts upon us.

The greatest legacy burdens that linger from my upbringing are __________________, __________________, and __________________.

The greatest gifts given me by my upbringing are __________________, __________________, and __________________.

Example

The greatest legacy burdens that linger from my upbringing are the belief that people and situations should be a particular way, that feeling feelings is a characterological weakness, and that position in society has power.

The greatest gifts given me by my upbringing are problem identification and strategic derivation of solutions, love of ideas and learning, and being taken seriously.

Personal traits

I have been told more than once, by more than one person who appreciated me, that I am __________________, __________________, and __________________.

Example: I have been told more than once, by more than one person who appreciated me, that I am intelligent, generous, and ahead of my time.

Strengths

When opportunities and challenges arise, whether I am working alone or with others, I bring these strengths to the task: __________________, __________________, and __________________.

Example: When opportunities and challenges arise, whether I am working alone or with others, I bring these strengths to the task: creativity, discipline, and determination.

History

If a Wikipedia entry were written about me, with priority given to listing the top events with the most impact on my life, including the way I think about myself, others, and the way the world works, the top hardships I have survived are:

1. __________________
2. __________________
3. __________________

Example

The top hardships I have survived are:

1. Inability to conceive a child.
2. Witnessing my father suffer mental and physical torture from dementia.
3. Losing my existential freedom from a concussion.

Stressors

The three greatest, current stressors in my daily life are 1) __________________, 2) __________________, and 3) __________________.

The three greatest, on-going stressors in my life are 1) __________________, 2) __________________, and 3) __________________.

Example

The three greatest, current stressors in my daily life are 1) adult cats, casualties of the pandemic, who have reverted to kitten-like behavior from too much time, in too small of a space, spent with their caregiver; 2) maintaining a house for said kittens, myself, and housemates who are international visiting scholars, 3) intermittent concussion symptoms.

The three greatest, on-going stressors in my life are 1) how to make a life for myself at this age, in this town, in a pandemic (!), after serving a decade as a caregiver; 2) determining what is possibly mine to do in the time I have left; 3) the push-pull of alternately rejecting and accepting the realities of aging.

Accomplishments

My greatest accomplishments in the past three years, 2020-2023, have been: 1) __________________, 2) __________________, and 3) __________________.

My greatest accomplishments in my life so far have been: 1) __________________, 2) __________________, and 3) __________________.

Example

My greatest accomplishments in the past three years, 2020-2023, have been: 1) not despairing over the losses I have experienced; 2) co-gardening with my neighbor who, sequentially, turned 89, 90, and 91; 3) contributing to science by providing a pleasant, supportive – albeit cat-dominated – home for international visiting scholars.

My greatest accomplishments in my life so far have been: 1) serving as a teacher, counselor, and mentor; 2) standing by my father in his time of greatest bafflement, vulnerability, and suffering; 3) not once not getting out of bed, no matter what had happened the day before.

Learnings

My three greatest learnings in the past three years, 2020-2023, have been: 1) __________________, 2) __________________, and 3) __________________.

My three greatest learnings in the past three years, 2020-2023, have been: 1) the neuroscience of grief, 2) the 1,000 most frequently used characters in Mandarin Chinese, and 3) the results of deep dives into existential theory and existential therapy.

Joys

The three greatest joys currently in my life are 1) __________________, 2) __________________, and 3) __________________.

Example

The three greatest joys currently in my life are the kitten brothers, Ken and Ted, learning Mandarin Chinese, and 200-piece jigsaw puzzles.

Connectedness

Although research varies on the number of people we need in our lives to sustain mental and physical health, and individual needs and preferences vary, most people experience a sense of well-being from having a “my person” – often a partner, best friend, or family member  – an “inner circle,” and “affiliations.”

The pandemic forced disconnectedness on many people. For many people, restoring connectedness is a work-in-progress. Please up the ante on self-kindness as you complete this section.

“My person” is __________________. Of all the people in my life, this is my closest confidante and ally. This person appreciates me as I am. I can count on this person to hear my feelings, thoughts, fears, and dreams without judgment or advice-giving.

In my “inner circle,” I prefer _____ people. I have _____ people. These are the people with whom I have mutual, lateral, reciprocal, giving-and-receiving relationships. Contact is frequent enough, and of enough duration, to maintain a sense of connection during absence.

Among my “affiliations,” I prefer _____ people. I have _____ people. These are the people with whom I may have infrequent contact. Although our time together, views, and lifestyles may vary, we have shared interests and mutual regard.

Example

My person is my sister. In my inner circle, I prefer 3 people. I have none. This reality is a problem to solve to which I bring my strengths. Among my affiliations, I prefer 8 people. I have 8+ people.

Future

Although the future is unpredictable and uncertain, possibilities I am considering for the future are: 1) __________________, 2) __________________, and 3) __________________.

Although the future is uncertain, possibilities I am considering are: 1) volunteering, 2) traveling to China when concussion symptoms resolve, 3) continuing to write independence-fostering, counseling-informed guides for clients and readers.

Ken and Ted

. . . . .

I am envisioning an emotion regulation bootcamp for people interested in increasing their emotion regulation skills. I can see it being offered in a single, one-on-one session, in a series of one-on-one sessions, and in a group.

Why? The ability to regulate emotions is considered the primary feature of skillful, effective living and relating. Emotion dysregulation is considered the primary, central component – the transdiagnostic construct – of many relationship and work problems, and of many mental illnesses.

Simply put, to function effectively, a person needs to be able feel feelings, think thoughts, and adjust the intensity of their inner experience at will, on command, then make conscious choices about what to say and do next – or not say and not do.

Components of the emotion regulation bootcamp curriculum might include:

  • Learning about the interrelationship between what happens, one’s thoughts, and one’s feelings using pie charts, diagrams of the brain, the ABC worksheet from CBT, and the concept of Wise Mind from DBT.
  • Making an Inner Volume Control Dial with a Paper Plate.
  • Examining this step-by-step description of the emotion regulation process.
  • Expanding thinking about responsibility by using the three-lane highway metaphor.
  • Learning how to muscularly shift attention using one’s senses, and values and priorities.
  • Learning about the human brain’s beautiful evolution to have the whole brain work in synergy together. The overlap between feelings and thoughts – both of which provide data – is the realm of inner wisdom, the source of effective, skillful, humane decision-making.
  • Learning that the acts of suppressing, blocking, numbing, and/or avoiding feelings, although reducing pain in the short-term, actually rob the full brain of its capacity for synergy. What to do with painful feelings is the work of people working on emotion regulation.
  • Becoming aware of the impact of the pandemic on one’s thinking using this 800-word worksheet.
  • Using the existential awareness skills assessments and overviews on this 3,000-word page.
  • Writing a personal resilience guide using ideas such as these.
  • Writing a philosophy of life and death such as this one.
  • Use of the meditation app created by Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR),* first introduced to me in 2006 by a professor in my graduate program. As of this writing, the app is available as a subscription, around $2.50 per month, $25.00 per year.

*Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), is an evidence-based protocol backed by decades of research, including brain imaging studies (2021), to assist with “Acting with awareness, Non-judgment, and Non-reactivity” (2022), anxiety disorders (2023), reduction in levels of anxiety, depression and stress (2022) – although results for depression are mixed (2022) – high-stress jobs such as nursing (2021) and teaching (2021), improving sleep quality in nurses (2021) and cancer survivors (2021), and with physical conditions such as boosting innate immunocompetence (2022), type 2 diabetes (2022), asthma (2022), cholesterol levels (2022), and hypertension (2021).

If you are interested in learning more about learning more emotion regulation skills, please contact me.

All content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Consult a qualified professional for personalized medical, health care, and professional advice.

An Update on Helpful, Effective Thinking for 2023

Please fill in the blanks with the first thought that comes to mind.

I. Become aware of one’s thinking about life.

“Life should provide __________. Life should have __________. If life doesn’t provide or have __________, life is not as valuable as it would otherwise have been.”

Become aware of the interrelationship between what happens, thoughts that are belief-based or wish-based, thoughts that are fact-based, and feelings.

“When __________ happened, I thought it shouldn’t have happened because life shouldn’t be that way. I shouldn’t have to __________. Since life should have __________and should provide __________. I felt betrayed because I trusted life to be the way I believed it was and should be. I felt disappointed in myself, in others, and in my life.”

II. Become aware of one’s thinking about one’s self.

“I should (circle) feel/think/do/have __________. If I don’t, I am not as valuable as I would otherwise have been. If I am not as valuable as I could be, I will not be adequately appreciated or loved. If I am not adequately appreciated or loved, I experience unbearable pain.”

Again, become aware of the interrelationship between what happens, thoughts that are belief-based or wish-based, thoughts that are fact-based, and feelings.

“When ______ happened to me, I thought it shouldn’t have happened. I thought that if I had said or done something different, or were different, it wouldn’t have happened. I believe I am responsible for how people feel, think, act, and are doing and, thus, I failed. This made it my fault and I was to blame. I judged myself as incorrect, incompetent, and inadequate. I felt ashamed of myself. From these reprimands, I felt overwhelmed with pain.”

III. Are the thoughts realistic?

“Reality is complex. Some aspects of my thoughts are realistic; some aspects aren’t. If I imagine a pie chart:

In January 2020, I estimate ____% of my thoughts were realistic and _____% were unrealistic.

Today, in 2023, I estimate ____% of my thoughts are realistic and _____% are unrealistic.”

IV. How can I help myself?

  • I can see reality as it is.
  • Within reality, realism gives me power. I neither idealize nor vilify, not myself, others, institutions, or the world.
  • I am real. I am not composed of other people’s beliefs, expectations, needs, and wants. I am not the victim of life, of how I was born, of how I was raised, or of what’s happened to me. I co-travel with my traits and my history.
  • As a result of making heroic, conscious choices to see reality as it is, I can identify problems and create solutions. I can adjust, adapt, and accept as needed.
  • I can become aware of self-judgment and replace it with
    self-kindness. Prolonged, inner states of activated intensity, and of under-activated despondency, frequently result from two sources: harsh self-judgment and envisioning being harshly judged by others.
  • As a result of awareness and self-kindness, I can use my inner dialogue to regulate my emotions at will.
  • Although I wish I had one or more people to appreciate and love me adequately, I see that, even if I did, during most of the 168 hours of each week, I’m on the job solo. I’m responsible for my inner state.
  • I may have some influence but cannot cause what human adults feel, think, want, say, or do. I am not causal. Why not? Human adults are separate, independent, autonomous beings who choose their own words and actions.
  • Unless I attempt to violate their independence by using emotional, relational, financial, and/or sexual favors, or persuasion, manipulation, shame, coercion, and/or force, I co-travel with the decisions other humans make.
  • I appreciate and love myself for handling the joys and sorrows of the human condition. I can feel compassion for everyone, everywhere, for having to handle the same.

V. My primary tasks are:

  1. to discover and understand my values, strengths, preferences, interests, and priorities;
  2. to become aware of what I need and want;
  3. to identify unmet needs and unfulfilled aspirations;
  4. to estimate what’s likely and unlikely;
  5. to see that opposites can both be true, that most factors occur within the context of a continuum, not as all good or all bad;
  6. to derive strategies to help myself precisely with what
    I want to do, not with a) what I wish or want others to do, or
    b) what others want from me;
  7. to shift and re-shift my attention to my values and priorities;
  8. to do what I define as mine to do in the time I have.

VI. How else?

Given the broad goals of making a life for myself and being of service to others, given the constraints of 2023 and the uncertainties of the future, how else might I help myself?

VII. Clarity

To the tasks of being myself, of navigating the opportunities and hardships inherent to the human condition, in my situation, in these times:

The primary personal strength I bring is __________________.

The primary value powering my efforts is __________________.

The primary priority giving me direction is __________________.

. . . . .

Therapy protocols derived before 2020 held a fundamental premise. People were free to take independent action on their own behalf.

In particular, cognitive theory celebrated human capability. Once individuals became aware of what they were feeling and thinking and directed their attention to reality-based thoughts, they could then build lives and relationships based on reality as perceived by logic, reason, and evidence.

For the past three years, I have heard an on-going note of distress in the narratives of many of the clients I met with online, in the thousands of voices I heard in the listening, watching, and reading I did during these years of isolation, and in my own inner experience.

Indeed, awareness, itself, can ease distress, regardless of the situation, even the most dire. This is the core of existential therapist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl’s premise. During the pandemic, surely, we had the time to become aware.

However, engagement in action and engagement with others are the mechanisms by which awareness is directed toward effective, skillful living. With limited opportunities to leave our dwellings and connect with people, the limits of current therapy protocols were exposed.

I posit that cognitive theory-based protocols need an update that emphasizes self-reliance. Why? Our ability to take action and to connect with others was truncated. The external was impossible. The internal was possible.

This post is an an imagining of the pandemic-informed worksheet that would be added to updated, 2023 editions of cognitive theory-based manuals, such as  Cognitive Processing Therapy for PTSD: A Comprehensive Manual by Patricia A. Resick, Candice M. Monson, and Kathleen M. Chard, Guillford Press, 2016.

At essence, this worksheet champions and fosters the powerfully kind and determined inner dialogue that sustains and guides when one is on one’s own.

. . . . .

To explore and discover tools and insights related to the tasks, I use the term “awareness skills” and have them outlined in about 3,000 words here.

Image: iStock

All content on this site is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, professional, and/or legal advice. Consult a qualified professional for personalized medical, professional, and legal advice.

Surviving and Thriving in a Post-Apocalyptic Novel

I asked ChatGPT this question:

“What are the traits of characters in post-apocalyptic novels that help them survive and thrive?”

The software replied:

“Characters in post-apocalyptic novels often possess a combination of traits that help them survive and thrive in the harsh and uncertain environments they find themselves in. Here are some of the key traits that tend to be common among such characters:

1. Resilience: Characters in post-apocalyptic novels must be able to bounce back from adversity and keep going despite the many challenges they face.

2. Adaptability: Survivors in a post-apocalyptic world must be able to adapt to new circumstances and environments as they arise, often without access to many of the resources they were used to before the apocalypse.

3. Resourcefulness: With many of the traditional systems and structures of society gone, post-apocalyptic survivors must be able to find and create their own resources and solutions to the challenges they face.

4. Self-reliance: The characters in post-apocalyptic novels often cannot depend on others to help them, and must be self-sufficient in order to survive.

5. Courage: In a world where danger lurks around every corner, characters in post-apocalyptic novels must be able to face their fears and act courageously in order to survive.

6. Strong social bonds: Although self-reliance is important, post-apocalyptic survivors also need strong social bonds and relationships to help them navigate the challenges of their new world.

7. Willingness to take risks: Survivors in a post-apocalyptic world must be willing to take risks in order to find food, shelter, and other necessary resources, as well as to defend themselves against potential threats.

These are just a few of the traits that tend to be common among characters in post-apocalyptic novels. Different characters may exhibit these traits in varying degrees, and other traits may also be important depending on the specific post-apocalyptic scenario portrayed in the book.”

– Paraphrase from OpenAI’s ChatGPT AI language model, personal communication, February 15, 2023.*

For inspiration and guidance in these challenging times, I have looked to the creative artists who have imagined humans or human-like beings meeting challenges in alternative or post-apocalyptic worlds. Having felt alarmed and helpless in the face of real and distant violence, and having experienced the recent deaths of my father and former boyfriend, I currently seek out stories that, simply put, are not too dark.

The novels below are listed in rank order based on my subjective view of the extent to which the main characters meet the synthesized criteria offered by ChatGPT, plus have awareness and skill, acknowledge errors and learn from them, and survive and thrive.

  1. Burn for Me, Ilona Andrews, pseudonym for a wife-and-husband team. First in the stellar Hidden Legacy series with main characters who are aware of their feelings and thoughts, do cost-benefit analyses with rank ordering when faced with choices, devise strategies, engage in understandable self-blame when things don’t go well, then move ahead based on their values and priorities. First series I have listened to twice since Harry Potter.
  2. When Women Were Dragons, Kelly Barnhill. First book I have broadly recommended since Ann Patchett’s The Dutch House. (The Dutch House link is to Audible version narrated by Tom Hanks.)
  3. A Magic Steeped in Poison, Judy I. Lin. Link is to exquisitely read Audible version. A gift to people who treasure finding meaning from the surprise of related things and times.
  4. The Liar’s Crown, Abigail Owen. Her world is inexplicable to us, then to her, then she bravely sees reality as it is.
  5. Legends & Lattes: A Novel of High Fantasy and Low Stakes, Travis Baldree. Link is to Audible version, brilliantly read by the author. An odd title for a startlingly imaginative archetypal heroine’s journey story.
  6. The House Witch: A Humorous, Romantic Fantasy, Delemhach. A creative, kind treatise on carrying on after trauma.
  7. Joan Is Okay, Weike Wang. Without support, with opposition, a neuroatypical inner life movingly handles the beginning of the atypical, apocalyptic beginning of this pandemic.
  8. The House in the Cerulean Sea, TJ Klune. The characters work hard to champion their own humanity against powerfully held beliefs about how people should be.

Noteworthy

  • Trail of Lightning, Rebecca Roanhorse. Astonishingly powerful, on the edge of too graphic for me. Link is to Kirkus Reviews. Tried second book but a little too dark, at least for now.

*Guidance on the citation style for ChatGPT came from The University of Queensland, Australia: “Content from generative AI is a nonrecoverable source as it can’t be retrieved or linked.”

Other recommended books are here.

Last updated 2023/02/15

All content on this page is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, professional, and/or legal advice. Consult a qualified professional for personalized medical, professional, and legal advice.

Mandarin Chinese Meetup

If you are an adult living in the Blacksburg, Virginia area, are studying Mandarin Chinese, or are a native speaker interested in offering support, you are invited to attend this gathering.

We have devised activities that give people the opportunity to use the words they know and, thus, experience success, engage pleasantly with others, and enter a Mandarin Chinese-only world for an hour.

What? Mandarin Chinese Meetup
Why? To practice speaking Mandarin Chinese on a meaningful level. For our purposes, “meaningful” is defined as “the ability to speak, listen, write, think, feel, work, present, relate, collaborate, and connect in Mandarin Chinese.”
How? For an hour, we enter the Chinese-speaking world and live Mandarin Chinese!
Where? Lobby of 102 Hubbard Street, Blacksburg, Virginia
When? Friday, February 10, 2023, 5:15 – 6:15 PM
Cost? None. Attending the meetup is free.
For whom? Adults who are learning Mandarin Chinese and native speakers of Mandarin Chinese. Learners who know a minimum of 200 words can help keep the conversation flowing.
How do I sign up? Walk-ins are welcome.
How can I track my progress? You are invited to take the HSKlevel before you attend your first meetup. You can take it again at any time and track your progress over time.

Participants are asked to make this pledge:

“To optimize the learning of all, I agree to willingly use Mandarin Chinese only for the entirety of the meeting. I understand that interjecting English into the conversation may harm the learning of others. I understand that, if I use English once, I will be expected to correct myself immediately. If I persist, I will have broken my agreement.”

(For other examples of language speaking agreements, please see the language pledges from Middlebury College, Princeton, Georgetown and Auburn. Brandeis’s All Language Lunch requires a language pledge. Here is a 2010 presentation on language pledges.)

For the next meetup on Friday, February 10, 2023:

  1. Please write an open-ended, conversation-fostering question that invites engagement, belonging, and connection. Examples include these, these, these, and these (podcast in Mandarin Chinese with transcript of questions).
  2. Translate your question into simple, plain language, Mandarin Chinese.
  3. Bring 6 copies of the question in Chinese characters, pinyin, and English.

To begin, this is the first question we will take turns asking and answering:

如果你要临时纹身一个汉字,你会选择哪个汉字?为什么?
Rúguǒ nǐ yào línshí wénshēn yīgè hànzì, nǐ huì xuǎnzé nǎge hànzì? Wèishéme?
If you were to get a temporary tattoo of a Chinese character, what character would you choose? Why?

What is the format of the meeting?

1. At the start of the meeting, instructions will be given in English.

2. We engage in Mandarin Chinese-only conversation activities in large and small groups.

3. We return to English. To close the meeting, participants are asked to take turns sharing what they observed about their own process and the insights they gained.

In case of inclement weather or public health requirements, the Mandarin Chinese meetup will meet via Zoom. The link will be posted on this page on the day of the meetup.

Please note: The intent of this meetup is to enrich, rather than replace, an individual’s study plan. The meetup is not a class and the facilitator is not an instructor.

Why is speaking only in Mandarin Chinese so hard?!

People experience two levels of vulnerability. Any human conversation requires letting down one’s guard a bit. Then to use a language with which one is not confident or expert? Doubly difficult!

At a conversation table, people experience the vulnerability and complexity of conversations. They ask a question and see if anyone thinks it’s interesting enough to answer. They need to experience – and tolerate – the unease that comes from the uncertainty of not knowing what to say, of not knowing if someone understands what they mean, and if they understand what someone else means. Some attempts at starting conversations succeed. Some fail. Some result in lively sharing. Some don’t. These are the normal challenges with human conversations. To the table, participants bring themselves, their conversational skills – such as they are! – and their second language knowledge and just try!

Here is a guide to being a good conversationalist from Indeed.com.

Context

Adults who begin studying Mandarin Chinese are generally enthusiastic, determined and skilled at learning. They are willing to reorder their lives’ priorities – such as work, relationships, and families – to include time to study Mandarin Chinese in their already-full schedules.

However, case study data about adults and research data about primary and secondary school students suggest that the vast majority of students who begin learning Mandarin Chinese quit.

To attempt to address high attrition rates among adults, I am attempting to derive a replicable protocol for adults to learn Mandarin Chinese optimally and efficiently.

This gathering is an attempt to contribute to the learning of Mandarin Chinese by busy adults. We experiment with a variety of activities designed for efficient learning. To optimize learning, the activities are designed to synthesize and apply the latest research on cognitive neuroscience, memory, language learning, and the psychology of language learning.

Highlights include these findings:

  1. Gains from interaction exceed those from solo study.
  2. In non-beginners, gains from speaking the target language only exceed those from speaking both the native and the target languages.
  3. In adults, when intentionally engaging in the target language, thinking and speaking in the native language is a risk factor for impairing acquisition.

Why is no English spoken?

  1. ROI. Our return on investment (ROI) will be greater towards our end in mind from an hour spent speaking only Mandarin Chinese than speaking a mix of our native languages and our target language.
  2. Do no harm/altruism. We’re trying to help, not hurt, each other.
  3. Global citizenry and humanity. At the conversation table, we are not teachers and students, nor natives and non-natives. We are people speaking Mandarin Chinese together – however inaccurately and imperfectly – to try to communicate and connect with each other, person to person.

“I am neither an Athenian, nor a Greek, but a citizen of the world.”
– attributed to Socrates by Plutarch

Based on the way the adult human brain works, adult learners of Mandarin Chinese need to attempt to directly use Mandarin Chinese – to “think” in Mandarin Chinese – because translating back and forth between languages hurts retention and mastery. Linguists have a ghastly term for this phenomenon – parasitism! In fact, according to Li and Jeong, 2020, thinking in English, then translating into Mandarin Chinese, is a major risk factor for preventing “adults from acquiring a foreign language to native competence.”

Although the use of a learner’s native language – rather than the language they are trying to learn – may be well-intended, the result may be experienced as othering, an indication of not belonging and a form of exclusion. Our primary goal is to connect!

Finally, we are attempting to simulate total, 100% immersion and gain the “native-like brain processing” benefits it can offer to adults.

Why is speaking only Mandarin Chinese difficult?

When adults search for words in a second language, they experience vulnerability and ambiguity, the latter of which Wang, 2021, defines as “uncertainty of meaning, kinds of complexity, novelty, unexpectedness, or a lack of clear-cut solutions.” Ambiguity naturally creates stress and distress. Our activities are designed to help participants use what they know, thus reducing ambiguity and stress, and increasing ambiguity tolerance.

Interaction with open-ended questions

Since, as Li and Jeong put it, “[L]anguage serves a social communicative purpose and is fundamentally a social behavior,” our meetup will be interactive and we will attempt to ask open-ended questions.

Why ask open-ended questions?

Open-ended questions allow participants to use vocabulary they know, in both questions and answers, rather than struggle to answer specific questions using vocabulary they may not know. Further, open-ended questions invite exploration and discovery. Close-ended questions require only a yes-no or single-word answer. Being asked a series of close-ended questions can sometimes feel threatening, like enduring a test or interrogation, rather than engaging in a social interaction. The adult human brain seems to learn and remember best in a modulated state of safety and calm.

open-ended question
kāifàng shì wèntí
开放式问题

close-ended question (yes or no, this or that)
fēngbì shì wèntí (shì huò fǒu, zhè huò nà)
封闭式问题(是或否,这或那)

Mandarin Chinese learners

  • To foster conversational flow, if you wish to ask questions about the language, please wait until after the meetup ends.
  • Please follow the 4-second rule. Sì miǎo fǎzé. 四秒法则。A typical pause in speech lasts only about a quarter to half a second. If, within about 4 seconds, you can’t quite find what you want to say, please say:
    Qǐng xià yīgè rén.
    请下一个人.
    Next person, please.

Native speakers

  • If you wish to talk about the language or teach someone something about the language, please wait until after the meetup ends.
  • To foster conversation, please speak at normal volume and at a standard conversational speech rate, between 130-150 words per minute.

The facilitator fosters a structured, supportive, safe, non-judgmental environment.

“Advice, without invitation, can feel like criticism.”
David Kessler

This meeting is part of a larger effort to create synergy and community among local Mandarin Chinese learners and speakers. In particular, this is an attempt to find or create daily, in-person opportunities for adults learning Mandarin Chinese in the Blacksburg, Virginia area to practice speaking, listening, and interacting on a meaningful level.

If you have a local, in-person, Mandarin Chinese conversation opportunity to recommend, please contact Anne Giles.

If you study Mandarin Chinese using Mandarin Blueprint and are interested in a Blacksburg, Virginia area meetup, please contact Anne Giles.

Local, additional attempts to use the findings of research to help support adults learning Mandarin Chinese have included a 90-day workshop and a 30-day workshop.

This gathering is co-listed on Meetup.

About the facilitator

Anne Giles, M.A., M.S., L.P.C., is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the Commonwealth of Virginia, U.S.A., and a student of Mandarin Chinese. She has passed the HSK 1 and HSK 2 exams. She took the pre-2021 HSK 3, passed the listening portion, but not the full exam because she cannot yet read characters well enough. She holds master’s degrees in curriculum and instruction and mental health counseling, and a Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL) certificate. As an undergraduate at Virginia Tech, she studied Chinese history. She took one semester of Mandarin Chinese at the University of Connecticut in 1981. She attended the National Chinese Language Conference virtually in 2021 and 2022. She has taught English at the middle school, high school, and college levels.

Last updated 2/2/2023

All content on this page is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, professional, and/or legal advice. Consult a qualified professional for personalized medical, professional, and legal advice.