Love and Sex After 50 was a course proposed for the Lifelong Learning Institute at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia, during the Spring Term, 2018.
Unfortunately, not enough members enrolled for the course to make.
I advertised the course on Facebook to individuals in our locale over 50. Nearly 6,000 people were served the ad in their news feeds, and nearly 500 people clicked on the link to the course description. The interest is there! Please offer observations on what might be barriers to enrolling, and please suggest ways we might present this topic in a way that those interested might join a discussion!
Course description:
Love and sex matter after 50! Science concurs with what our hearts, minds, and bodies know. Yet, how to navigate this unanticipated terrain of long-term relationships, lost and ended relationships, the uncertainty of future relationships, all with the spoken and unspoken prospect of getting naked together?! And the setting for this unfolding drama? A small, rural, college town?! If you feel overwhelmed, you’re not alone! This course will offer a dialectic of data-backed, reassuring, juicy guidance on possibilities for how to individually, and in partnership, feel loving and sexual your whole life.
“[E]ven though physical release may be involved, loving sex is a cherishing of each other’s minds, hearts and bodies – the whole person that is our partner.”
– John and Julie Gottman
- Session 1: Update on the Context for Love and Sex After 50
- Session 2: Heart-Touching, Mind-Engaging, Body-Tingling Possibilities for Sex After 50
- Session 3: Ways to Talk About Love and Sex
Artist and LLI instructor Jessica Pace-Berkeley is scheduled to unveil a watercolor painting commissioned exclusively for the course during the second session on Monday, February 12, 2018, at 3:00 PM.
“But I believe that everyone in the world wants to be with someone else tonight, together in the dark, with the sweet warmth of a hip or a foot or a bare expanse of shoulder within reach…Nothing is easy at this age, and first meetings for old lovers can be a high-risk venture. Reticence and awkwardness slip into the room. Also happiness.”
– Roger Angell
Recommended Reading
- Longing for Intimacy? Foster Interpersonal Safety First
- Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, Linda Carroll, 2014
- Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex, Joan Price, 2011
- Foreword, Chapters 1-3, Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy: The Illustrated Manual, Linda Weiner and Constance Avery-Clark, 2017
- “This Old Man: Life in the Nineties,” Roger Angell, 2014
- “Now Is the Time to Talk About the Power of Touch,” David Brooks, 1/18/18
Additional Recommendations
On relationships
- Consider this question – “And how are you crazy?” – from “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person,” by Alain de Botton.
- Consider your answers to The 36 Questions That Lead to Love, by Daniel Jones.
- Watch a video of couples answering The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.
- Become aware of what you are feeling and thinking as you learn of Mark and Mandy’s signed relationship contract from “To Stay in Love, Sign on the Dotted Line,” by Mandy Len Catron.
- For an academic view, try “The Science of Togetherness,” by John Gottman.
- Select an article of interest to you from Esther Perel’s blog or read one of her books.
- Feel free to read my essay, “Looking for Evidence-Based Love,” where the idea for this course began.
On bodies
- Bare Reality: 100 Women, Their Breasts, Their Stories, Laura Dodsworth, 2015
- Petals, Nick Karras, 2017
- Manhood: The Bare Reality, Laura Dodsworth, 2017
Note: Print copy images are low resolution and the text is somewhat difficult to read. Kindle version images are high resolution and text can be adjusted. - My Vagina Is Terrific. Your Opinion Is Not., Jen Gunter, 11/16/17
On sex and physical intimacy
- In addition to the recommended reading from her writings, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex, try one of Joan Price’s other books on sexuality for mature lovers.
- The Power of Touch, Especially for Men, Andrew Reiner, 12/5/17
- Sex After Cancer, including the comments, 1/18/18
Watercolor paintings by Jesi Pace-Berkeley
“Sexuality is as varied as human interaction in general, encompassing many daily, intimate moments of tenderness, sensuality, pleasure, and mutual teamwork with a beloved mate and friend, not just the culminating drama of intercourse.”
– Barry McCarthy
Last updated 2/26/18
The views expressed are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the positions of my employers, co-workers, clients, family members or friends. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or professional advice. Consult a qualified health care professional for personalized medical and professional advice.
