My Inner Dialogue

At the end of 2012, I experienced myself having out-of-control feelings and thoughts, alarmed by images and memories, in severe emotional and physical pain, flooded by waves of panic, fighting longing,  in circumstances I couldn’t change or influence, isolated and alone. I felt anguished and agonized, helpless, and hopeless that anything could change. I love my life and wished so much better for myself!

With professional assistance and through my own studies, I was able to derive a formula for an inner dialogue that helps me no matter what is – or isn’t – happening.

Today, I am contented enough, enough of the time, to thrive.

. . . . .

I pause.

I give myself permission to step back from everyone and everything, even just for a moment.

I say to myself, “I am here for me.”

I say to myself, “I will not leave myself, no matter what.

I say, “I am kind to myself. I will stay kind to myself no matter what.”



Gently, patiently, but muscularly, I become aware of to what I am giving my attention.

I acknowledge the reality of what has my attention. It may be in the physical world or it may be a feeling, thought, image, or memory in my interior world. Without judgment, I simply name it.

If I am longing for substances, I strong-arm my attention.

I then use my attention to focus on what I am feeling, thinking, sensing, and doing.

I ask myself, “What am I feeling?”

I use my attention to become aware of my feelings and name them. I note the intensity of my feelings and adjust the volume on my inner state to a level that feels stable to me.

I ask myself, “What am I thinking?”

I become aware of my thoughts and, with mercy, acknowledge my thoughts without judgment.

Without judging each thought as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative, rational or irrational, I simply consider whether or not the thought would be helpful to me right now. I sort my thoughts into helpful and unhelpful piles.  I focus my attention on the helpful thoughts. I rank order my helpful thoughts and give my attention to the most important ones.

I ask myself, “What am I sensing?”

I become aware of physical sensations I am having and become aware of what information they give me. To help myself feel more comfortable and more stable, I consciously move or breathe. I shift my attention to information from my senses: to what I see, hear, taste, touch, sense, or to motion.

I ask myself, “What am I doing?”

I simply become aware of what actions I am taking, whether with my physical body or with my brain.

As a result of using my attention to become aware of my feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations,

I can then access the best of both my heart and my mind

which is my inner wisdom.

I can consult my inner wisdom to guide me in deciding what’s most helpful for me to say or do next – or not say or not do – with regard to myself and others.

. . . . .

When I become aware I am experiencing trauma symptoms, I have found this version of my inner dialogue  to be helpful.

This post is part of a series. The table of contents for the series is here and posts are published in the category entitled Guide.

Last updated 12/23/17

The views expressed are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the positions of my employers, co-workers, clients, family members or friends. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or professional advice. Consult a qualified health care professional for personalized medical and professional advice.

Awareness Check-in
My Self-Care Guide to Helping Myself With Trauma